To put it simply, I have problems.
I've spent the last couple of weeks silently grumbling about every facet of life. How frustrating my job has been, how frustrating the people at my job have been. How I wish I made more money, that my house was the way I wanted it, that Brandon would ask more about my opinion and take the hints that I'm tired and want to go home. That Kohna would stop peeing on my floor and Onyx would just let me hold her for once.
I'm really stupid.
This is something that I'm realizing I really dislike about society. Everything tells you that happiness is having more. Reaching that next level. Base line: That everything you have now isn't good enough for you in any way. I get soooo caught up in those thoughts, that to make myself happy I have to be constantly attempting to get new things. Who even knows what that means? How do I tell if I am happy by that standard? Everything is telling me that I won't ever be happy with what I have, which to me sounds like...I'd never be happy. That's depressing.
While sitting at my computer stewing over what I should make for dinner tonight, I caught a glimpse of the sunset reflecting off the trees in my backyard as they were blowing in the wind. The sky behind the trees is dark, so the reflection of the sun is that much more brilliant. It made me completely content. Even though my backyard is just weeds, I could enjoy it for one minute.
What about everything else I was so wrapped up in being upset about? I've changed my attitude. There aren't a lot of people in this world that can say that they live with their best friend, who goes out of his way to give them a kiss good night every night, and tell them how much he loves them. Isn't that incredible?
Let's not even start to talk about jobs. There are tons of people out there that wouldn't mind working 14 hour days to make themselves indispensable at their job. And here I was sitting, bemoaning the idea that I would spend another night working.
Anyway, I had to write this down. Because I know in a few weeks, or even a few days, I'll have forgotten that I felt this way, and I'll be back to needing a new mirror in my dining room, or new couches, or sod for my backyard.
